My Birthday

I can't believe that I have been on the earth another year; I feel like I just got here. June 1, 2000. This day 14 years ago I came into this crazy place I call home and it's been a roller coaster since then. I have had ups and downs and merry-go-rounds of emotions, but I really couldn't have it any other way. It's weird to think that I am done with another year of my life. It's exciting but scary. It is exciting that it is one year closer to reaching my dreams but at the same time it is one year closer to the end. but I think it is good to be scared. you need to have something to keep you on your feet. When i look back at my life so far it startles me of how much I have grown up. While i was growing up I didn't realize it but now looking back it makes me laugh. all the stupid things i did and all the weird outfits i put together and as embarrassing as they are i can't think about how i would be if i hadn't gone through those odd phases. everything may not have been good though. i mean in my life there were people who told me things that they found wrong in me. They taunted me. They made sure I was able to see every single one of my flaws. and it hurt me. a lot. I can still here those words in my head. as if they are traced into my skin. everywhere i go they follow. i can't seem to shake it off. people don't realize how much words can hurt a person. they are something that you can never forget. at least i can't forget. everything that has ever been said to me is piled into a 24/7 radio playing in my head that just can't be turned off. sometimes i just want to make it stop. i want to throw the radio out and hit it with a hammer.but i can't. as much as those worts may hurt me. they make me so much stronger. when i feel like my fingers are about to lose grip i somehow hold on. these are things i have learned in 14 years. i know people may think people as young as me don't go through anything. but i have gone through a lot more than many older people i know. i don't think people realize that children are going through so much as they grow up. They life in an ever changing environment and they are trying to cope with life. it's not that easy. We don't have empty minds and petty problems. We have clouded minds full of problems and questions and lessons from things we have learned. just sit down with a teenager and you will learn so much. they may seem young but they are wise. Just sit with them. Listen.