It's that time of year again. The time when everything seems to change. The leaves are no longer attached to the trees. The colors get warmer. The nights shorter. Every second feels like it's going a little bit slower. Every day seems like it's going a little bit faster. Beds seem more inviting. Blankets more needing hugs. Music plays slower and lights shine brighter against the dark night which seems to stay around forever. The wind keeps giving kisses pecking your cheeks and nose and ears. Cheeks turn brighter and vibrant but are ice cold to the touch. Many say that spring is the time of rebirth and live but I see it all around me in the fall. My thoughts get quieter and screams are hushed. My soul takes over belting out all of the holiday spirit and joy. Time seems to stop and I like that. It gives me more time to think. To create. It gives me time to take a breathe from the life that never stops. It pulls me away from the car pool lane in to a backed up freeway in my mind. There is no where for me to go so I just wait and wonder. I wonder about how I'm going to be in 10 years if I will stay sane, if I will fall in love, if I will follow my dreams.  I wish I could look in a mirror ball. I wish I was told what to do with my life. Given an instruction manual to follow, but what would be the fun of that?
I like it when the weather turns cold and numbs every part of me. I can't feel. To the touch everything seems exactly the same. Even though it makes everything harder I like that. I like that you have to find a way to warm yourself up. You're body is forced to help yourself. You can not rely on anybody other than yourself. When you're numb and get hurt or scratched or trying to get something open you can't feel any pain. It is a weird sensation. Is not that you can't feel anything at all but at the same time it is not painful. It is strong and powerful but at the same time nothing. It's there but it's not. Something that you will feel for only a couple of seconds and then completely disappear. It is such a weird concept the the human body has gotten habitual to that I don't think I will ever be able to wrap my head around. Feeling and then not. Completely gone like the brush of breeze at your fingertips.