11.16.14

I know to much about life to have any kind of optimism.
I have dreams and visions but am uncertain about reality
I live to much in a made up world in my mind to stop myself from thinking about the world we live in
I never know whether to be happy or sad or confused or angry
I have so many voices in my head
Some are scary, others so happy, sometimes i don't know which to listen to
My thoughts are a tornado and I am Dorothy and I have no way to get home
I wish I could be little again and not have to worry but i know to much to ever go back to a time like that
I have so many nerves in my body that i feel will be snapped in half when I'm pushed out into the world
alone
I've seen so many things and I may still be to young to completely wrap my mind around them but it still makes my hope falter like a fall leaf about to tear itself off the tree
I am no longer oblivious
I have been hurt
Looked at in so many different ways that I'm unsure
and this uncertainty
It's driving me insane.

-a.s.b