Sleeplessness

Sleep. It seems to be something I don't do anymore. For some reason I can't. When the sun goes down and the stars come up my eyes don't seem to fall. I'm so tired.but i can't. I can't sleep. And when i do its so short lived. So I'm stuck awake with no escape.  Forced to think. Think about everything that is happening. The good and bad. The things i want to think about and the things i so badly want to shake away. And it's hard. People need to be able to forget sometimes. That's why they sleep sometimes.  That's why some people never want to wake up. They just want to sleep forever. But I. I just want a passing moment.  To close my eyes and dream about the world and everything that is possible for me to do. Hope and dreams are such a lovely thing.  They are things that you can anticipate and live for and wonder about. They make you want to wake up in the morning and try your hardest to be the best that you are every single day. Minutes pass by ,and I'mjust forced to look at the clock. Tick tock tick tock. It's the sound that I used to love when I was little. Now I just want it to stop. It's all I can here. Everything else is quiet. As much as I don't want to listen to it. It is banging in my head and the only sound in the dead quietness of the night. Then the crickets start and the usual beauty I hear is gone and it's just shrill and high and irritating. I can't even think anymore. All the sounds combine. The quiet sounds of the night are now roaring sounds in my ear and I can't stop them. I can't think. I can't dream. I can't wonder. I can only stare at the stars that have disappeared in the twilight and the moon that has turned its smile into a frown. The darkness is all I have left in the night. And I can feel the drowsiness inside of me and yet I can't seem to close my eyes. They won't budge.my head starts to hurt but i can't get up because then all my drowsiness will go away. And the chance of sleeping will be a lost cause. So i just sit and swallow the pounding in my head and try to close my eyes and block out the noises and sights and thoughts. Because when the sun goes down its time to sleep. At least that's what i was told when i was little.