I'm not sure about myself.
 If my thoughts are ever still valid.
If I'm happier or sadder than a year or two ago.
I'm not sure about my views and even if they are respected.
 I wonder how long I'll feel this way.
 Empty.
With no heart or soul.
With no purpose or calling or urging voice in my head.
I feel like my thoughts are caged.
 Caged in metals bars and for some I can't find the key to break them free.
I know my feelings are hidden and there are things they have to see; a burning desire to say but seem lost inside of me.
Buried so far down, deep in the bottom of crevices.
An oblivion that never seems to cease and goes for miles on end.
 My words are no longer sewn together like the fluidity of a stream.
They're so choppy and inconsistent and It's driving me insane.
 I wish I could be like Alice and dive into a rabbit hole.
 Sink down squirmy passageways and forget about what's real.
 Live a life in fantasy to mark away what life is.
 In craze.
 Always out of breathe.
I crave it more than ever, but it is such an endeavor that seems to be a never.
A never for me just like everything else.
Making its way onto the list.
 A not ever in reality or even in dreams.
So I'm left stuck and confused and searching for clues.

-a.s.b