It's the first day of a new month. It feels as if I can start off fresh. But I have the same feeling at the beginning of every month so that's nothing new. I feel like at the beginning of every month I feel like I can do something great, but then I somehow mess it up and just wait for the next month to start. But I feel different about this month. It rained yesterday really hard and now it's the day after the storm. Everything feels new again and fresh. I can smell the after rain smell and feel the breeze against my bare skin. I have the urge to erase anything bad that has happened in the past couple months and start over. Plants are starting to grow outside and spring seems to be lurking around the corner. The sun is shining bright, and the clouds are light and fluffy. I feel a lot more aware all of a sudden. I can feel the peacefulness of my breathing, and the steadiness of my heart beat. I relish every movement I make, and I treasure every time my eyelids flutter. I feel an odd sensation of being glad to be alive. I mean I'm not sick or ever was, but I am still thankful. Every noise I hear sounds like music and every touch comforting. Why? I have no idea. I also have a hungry urge inside me to write down my feelings down all the time so I can look back and remember how I felt during that specific time. Every time my pen touches paper I keep unraveling things about myself that I didn't know about before. I have realized that I am a deep thinker and can analyze data fairly well. Every time I get an answer another question pops up in my head. Why this and why that. I feel like a curious toddler all over again. It makes me wonder about my future. What am I going to be and who am I going to marry and am I going to life a meaningful life. These are questions that are being answered day by day and I am just taking it as I get it. I'm not in a rush. Life keeps surprising me. And I love it.