<> Update on my life if you care <> 072914

         When veganism is ever stated it is surrounded by a pretty big misconception and odd stares and uncomfortable exchanges. I don't exactly understand why. i know now that I'm vegan people i know are going to feel the need to call me a  hippie or a person that jumps on the current trend. alright. i mean i know as much as i deny that it's not exactly going to change one's perspective so it's alright. i have to face the reality that whatever i do there is going to be someone who tells me that it is weird or not right or anything of that nature. but i don't care. i am happy. i feel like when you make little changes in your life it makes your life better. change is good and as much as i fear it sometimes it's exactly what i need. it's funny because i have been thinking about becoming a vegan for quite a while and i kind of just bit the bullet. i mean i was already vegetarian so it wasn't that big of a change ,but at the same time it felt like i was making the biggest decision of my life. which i obviously wasn't. as cliche as it sounds eating healthier makes you feel a million bazillion times better. I'm eating whole real fresh food. not crap that is packaged in plastic boxes and has chemicals in it so that it can last in the pantry for a year. same goes with actually getting my butt of a couch watching Netflix and working out. feeling your muscles working and making your body move is just so amazing. it so crazy how amazing the anatomy of the human body is. all the things that it can do and the ways that it can bend and move. it really makes you appreciate everything a little bit more. it makes me realize that some people can't even move their legs never the less take a walk on a trail. i think it's the little things that you do that makes you understand everything just a little bit better.


        it's funny. this thing called happiness. sometimes i can just feel it in my blood and my veins and sometimes i don't even have a drop. it feels unattainable. just last night. i felt sad and worthless. i felt as though i would never meet any goal i put in front of myself. i felt that nobody cared about what i thought and how i felt and what i liked and my opinions and just everything about my essence. and now i feel like a baby bird in a nest just about ready to jump out and soar and explore the world around it and make it it's own without guidance. without the need to be another person's shadow. confidence. something i just lack. right now in this moment i swear i can fly. i can feel it. i can't describe it but it's an indescribable feeling of self worth and love and excitement and it just feels so amazing. i hope everyone feels like this once in a  while or spends their life doing what makes them feel this way because this indescribable feeling is the reason god gave us our life to live and play with  and write stories about and look back and just smile. life is a serious of heart pumping moments. you are the author,your life is the book, and everything you do are the words. precious and unique. don't ever forget that. everything you will ever do happens for a reason and if you ever feel like something is going wrong it's just a plot twist which means bigger and better things are coming your way.

i apparently really like making kissing faces when I'm happy so yeah that's a little bit embarrassing

What i currently look like writing this. Blogger is being so annoying to say nicely. it keeps shutting down on me.